I've been in a shitty mood this past week. Work's been exhausting, physically and emotionally. My private life can best be described as "blah". And my mind has been running around all over the place. I talked to some friends but soon decided that I wasn't meant to be social right now, since everything I said came out sounding pessimistic and bitter. Sunday night I actually had a little mini-break down, realizing that I was feeling desperately lonely for the first time in ages. I've been single for a long time and that's all good, goddess knows I love my me time. But suddenly I wasn't just feeling alone but rather extremely lonely. Well, I cried a little, wrote a long email to a dear friend in which I poured my heart out, and ate lots of chocolate (not necessarily in that order).
I feel better now, but the aftermath of the mini-break down still haunt me and I'm working to find new ways to deal with my thoughts of a bleak future in which I die alone and no one comes to my funeral. Somehow Natalie Portman worked herself into these thoughts/day dreams and now I've decided that it's only a matter of time before I run into Miss Portman in some spontaneous and hilarious manner, we exchange phone numbers and go out for coffee and a stroll in the park and live happily ever after.
What?! It could happen.
See? She even likes dogs! A must in my world.
Anyway: The lesson learned here is that Natalie Portman is the cure for loneliness. I feel fine now, imagining that my aloneness will be ended soon by Nat. Or maybe I actually feel a little commitmentphobia coming on... Either way, it gets my mind off of my lonely tomb stone in the rain (because it's definitely raining in my bleak lonely future).