Time is a requirement for dating

It's been almost a week since I last wrote. And while I would love nothing more than to tell the tales of all the progress I've made in the dating arena, I've got nothing. I've been busy, Ex-Gaybor's been busy, we just haven't managed to meet up. But tomorrow the second date is planned.

Okay, so it's not all that datey this time. I'm going over to her place to watch a movie and then we might be going to a midsummer's eve party in the evening. Said party is at The Aquaintance's place. And The Ex is coming with.

So just to make things clear: I'll be taking my date to a party held by a woman I hold some romantic interest in AND I'm taking along my ex. There is something seriously wrong with me, isn't there? Why would I set myself up for these kind of situations if there wasn't some neurological dysfunction up in my head? To spice things up just a little more, turns out Straight Girl is good friends with The Acquaintance, or so I've heard rumored. So perhaps another flirtation will add herself to the mix.

It may not become a problem what so ever though. Ex-Gaybor is sickly and might not be up for going out tomorrow evening. And The Ex isn't too keen on coming along to the party if she's going to be the third wheel. So they might sort themselves out of the mix... And The Aquaintance: Well, since I don't even know if she holds any kind of interest in me I doubt it'll be an issue. We've gone so many years without crossing the line from friendship into something else and I doubt we will anytime soon. And hell, last time I was at a party at her place I got wasted and made out with some complete stranger in her living room (that girl turned out to be totally straight though, gay as she looked - it's those damn gender study majors, they throw my gaydar off!).

Speaking of alcohol, that might be a very good solution to an akward situation. Drink until you don't care! Plus, if I get drunk enough I might get brave enough to make a move on Ex-Gaybor... The Ex is telling me I need to make a move soon, or she'll slap me next time I complain about never getting laid. But I'm a wimp and I know it and I suck at making first moves. I'll try though. Promise.

Sleepless nights and all that good stuff...

I'm stressed out. About work. About life. I forget what came first in the vicious stress cycle, but one invariably affects the other. Yesterday I couldn't fall asleep for some reason and all I can say is I am sooo ready for vacation time to roll around. Soon soon...

In other, lesbian news: The Ex and I talked and walked today. The talk revolved around our issues, with sex and love and relationships, as is often the case with our talks. She tried to convince me that I will find someone very special and have an amazing relationship and that it's only a matter of time before that happens (of course! Natalie must be on her way!). I pouted and hissed in disbelief, and then it was my turn to convince the Ex that she'll definitely find someone way before I do. And then we play-fought about who's more fucked up. Oh the fun.

I am slowly recovering from my pathetic attempted one-night stand two weeks ago. Yup, I'm crawling up from that dusty pit I've been in, brushing myself off and venturing out into the world. All this stress and sexual frustration must be channelled into some purpose and I figure it might as well be dating, so here I go, I'm making an effort. In two weeks I'm having a party and I'll be damned if I won't gather at least a few women with potential... Maybe my guy friend will bring along Straight Girl, if I ask him? And then there's The Acquaintance, that girl I've been in contact with, in one way or another, for several years. I've always been interested in her, but I've never managed to develop it beyond acquaintanceship due to circumstances and bad timing.

Finally: Yay, people are reading my blog! Thank you to those two of you that have left comments so far!

(So called) straight girl?

I used to pride myself on never falling for straight girls. In fact, I was never even attracted to straight women. Even when I didn't know anything about a woman's sexuality, chances were: if I was attracted to her, she was queer. But then again, sexuality can be very fluid. And right now I'm pretty damn attracted to a woman who very much identifies as straight. Could it be she just hasn't uncovered her inner lesbian yet? And more importantly: Could it be she just needs a little help uncovering said lesbian? Straight Girl is, although claiming to be decidedly heterosexual, expressing an interest in me. She's was a bit flirtatious last time I saw her (this weekend) and our common friends claim she has been talking quite a bit about me. So maybe Straight Girl ain't really so straight? Perhaps she's at the very least bi-curious?

Really this whole straight girl thing isn't as new to me as I'd like to make it seem. It seems that I attract straight people. Straight men hit on me, straight women hit on me... in fact, even gay guys take an interest in me (although completely non-romantic of course) when I'm out and about. The cruel hand that fate has dealt me is that everyone seems to find me somewhat interesting except the lesbians and bisexuals. But sometimes a "straight girl" is only a bisexual grrl in the making. Now, I really don't want to come across as a predatory lesbian (my friends will testify I'm anything but that) but let's look at the facts:

Women I've had sex with: 3 (yeah, I'm really no player)

Women I've had sex with where I've been their first woman: 3

Yup, 100 % shared their first experience of lesbian sex with me. (And I still haven't received my toaster oven! What's up with that?!) Of course, it should be said those girls weren't "straight girls" when I met them. They were girls who identified to various degrees as bi or at the very least bi-curious. And while I haven't slept with many girls I have made out with plenty (I'm a make out slut, it's true). And many of those were straight girls who'd had a few drinks and started to feel the need to experiment their way to self-discovery. And they decide to do it with me. I think there's something about me, maybe something safe, that allows them to fool around with me without threatening their existense too much. Maybe it's that I look so traditionally hetero? They know I'm gay, but they can sort of pretend like they're just making out with one of their straight girlfriends?

It's not even that I mind being some kind of transitionary station for bicurious girls. I just wonder why that is? And why all the out and proud dykes are refusing to flock to me the way I want them to?

Straight Girl though... I'm totally going for it. I'm in dating-mode and I'm unstoppable.