I found myself exchaning glances with plenty of cute girls, and even engaging a few in conversation (well, it's easy when they're selling t-shirts and you're buying them...). But of course I could never conciously flirt with any of them. I only do it inadverdently and when The Ex points out that "hey, that girl was totally flirting with you" I get shy. As much as I would love to march on back to that vending table and ask the cute vegan out, I instead find myself muttering over my plate of tofu ham half an hour later "I wish I was Shane". Because let's face it: In a room full of gorgeous queer girls Shane would have definitely walked away with a pocket full of phone numbers. It think I feel a new year's resolution coming on...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
In "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" psychotic violence and crying fits are gender blind.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Welcome to Celibate Land!
Regardless of how the past few months have been, I'm now inspired to write again because things are a-stirring.
First things first: I have a sex date. Yes, it's true. A woman I've only met once before will traveling down to my end of the country for a weekend of meaningless sex. And that is for sure: This will be sex and nothing else. It might be meaningful in the sense that I'll be getting laid for the first time in forever, but that's all the meaning it will hold. And I couldn't be more thrilled!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Yes, I realize that I'm creepy. But I saw Tegan and Sara perform on Wednesday and I was completely and totally mesmerized. The hotness! The talent! The cuteness! The funny! The tattoos! Oh goddess, the tattoos... I could dedicate a full blog entry to the beauty that is inked body art. Basically: Tegan Quin is awesome, her sister is fabulous, and together they form the awesome-fabulous-fantastic Tegan and Sara.
"You are a very attractive city. Like, were we come from, in Canada, there are attractive people. But, there's like no ugly people in your city. It's sort of really unsettling, and um... we also felt really short. Because we're... [Tegan chimes in: "Short."] Yeah, we're short. And everyone here is like a hundred feet taller than us. Its... You're creepy sort of. But awesome! Totally awesome. Okay, so umm... Yeah."And then they played a song and after that Sara appologized for calling us creepy, but of course everyone was just thrilled to be called anything by Sara so she mostly got applause all the way through. Woohoo, Sara thinks I'm hot. And Tegan agrees, she was nodding. Yup, the world revolves around me and I took it as a personal compliment.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Tonight was a gayer, as a I saw a one-woman show called "You give gay people a bad name", by and with Helena Sandström. It was a fabulous hour long comedic monolog, with a few interruptions by her male heterosexual sidekick. I watched, I laughed, I identified. The show was all about psychotic lesbians, trying to pick up chicks, and crying yourself to sleep because you still haven't gotten laid. And there was singing and dancing as well. So basically, it summed up my life nicely. I involuntarily ended up in the show when Helena was going to demonstrate how good she is at picking up women on a member of the audience. Of course it worked (even though her pick-up technique only consisted of walking by and ignoring me), I would have totally gone home with her.
Unfortunately she had a show to finish. Before picking me out of the crowd she had just finished telling a story about boiling an ex-girlfriend's hamster and calling her every night for three weeks to prove her love. So clearly, she was playing somebody psychotic and we all know how the psychos are attracted to me. All in all, it was very "Killing me softly" moment. (You know: "Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words..." and so on.)
I loved the part where she explained to the straight people in the audience that there isn't one who is "the man" and one who is "the woman" in a lesbian relationship - there's one who's tall and one who's short. And that is how you divide the housework: The tall one changes the light bulbs, the short one fixes the car (since they can fit under the hood). And the garbage? You take turns, as long as both are tall enough to reach the trash can. Hah.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I won't bore you with pictures of me in my undies, but here is a wonderful fellow parader who pointed out that we were wearing the same shoes.
Making Out and Flirting: There was mucho flirting. There was mucho making out (particularly in the parade, I left a lot of smudged lipstick on a lot of girls). I must say, I was pretty forward all of Pride. Perhaps not so much with the initiating of make out sessions, but at least with starting up conversations with pretty strangers. Go me!
Not Getting Laid, Not Even A Little: Clearly a lowlight as it means I will go into absolute celibacy and never get laid again. I’m seriously giving up. Or as Pink would say: It’s just me and my hand tonight (and for every night from now on). Pessimist, me? What? I will however not be turning down pretty ladies that want to get in my pants (wherever those women are hiding), I’m just not going to be chasing after them. I am so done with the chasing.
And there it is: My Pride 2007, summed up as neatly as I could.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Blah. I then spent the night with her stalking me around the club, getting jealous if I talked to other girls and at one point saying in a sharp voice that I was "flirting with all the girls tonight" and asking me in a jealous tone who that girl I was talking to was (The Dog Sitter). She could not take a hint this girl. Still, I had fun. We kept on dancing, The Dog Sitter and I sang karaoke, and all in all it was a good Pre-Pride, minus the psycho. I just hope this evening is not an indicator of what's to come at Pride because if so I'll be almost getting laid with psychos for five days.Miss A: (Abrubtly pulling away) "I hate that I get so aggressive, I hate it!" Me: "Huh? I didn't think you were being aggressive." Miss A: "But I am! I know what I'm like, and I hate it!" Me: (Getting a little bit worried and thinking I should just get out of there) "Well, we probably shouldn't do this whole thing then." (Getting ready to open the door and leave) Miss A: (Hand on door) "NO! Wait, I need to pee first." Me: "Well, then you pee and I'll go outside while you do that." Miss A: (Grabbing my arm) "So what, you're just gonna leave me here?!" Me: "That's right." (Exit stage)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
SB: "So, umm, you're like totally gay then? Like, completely?" Me: "Yup, totally." SB: "Wow, 'cause, yeah, you're really pretty. I mean, I don't want it to come off as an insult, but you don't look gay at all. I mean... umm..." Me: "Hah, yeah, well I get that a lot. That I don't look gay I mean." SB: "Well, my sexual preferences... well, haha, let's not even go there. So you guys are going out to a gay club after you leave the wedding I heard?" Me: "Yeah, we're just gonna keep on partying. You should come with!" SB: "Well, I can't really leave... But I'd love to come along some other time?"And so I textmessaged her the other day, wondering if she wants to come along this weekend, thinking she'd most likely completely forgotten our drunken conversation. But she quickly responded with a "I'd love to, but I need to check if I can change my work schedule!". So, she might tag along, she might not. Regardless, she definitely wants to hang out sometimes, which sounds nice. And thus: I am excited about 1) Pride, and 2) Pre-Pride. What can I say? I just frickin love Pride. Let the rainbow flag fly high!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
So I'm raising my glass to gay marriage: "May we all have the right to define our institutions as we see fit. May no one be denied the right to choose how we wish our unions to be recognized. May we all have the choice to say 'I don't need no stinkin marriage' and not be pre-empitively excluded from that holy circle that we may or may not want to be a part of."
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
I finally took the first step, since it was becoming blatantly obvious that Ex-Gaybor wasn't about to. And she didn't give me any great openings ever. I feel like I've been waiting for a moment to lean in and plant one on her since the first time we met up, but what do you know: That moment that I've experienced so many times before, where you look at each other and think about kissing each other before coyly looking away - it never happened. Instead I walked her to the bus stop for the third time, at the end of our third date. The rain was pouring down and I was making small talk, trying to open up for an opportunity to naturally bring up the whole "where's this going" angle. I jokingly asked if she often meets girls online. She responded that no, that pretty much never happened. I said it was nice hanging out with someone I really felt I clicked with and she agreed, but in a very casual way.
Me: "Umm... So, this is kind of weird. But I'll just be honest and lay it out there: We've been hanging out quite a bit and, well, I'm wondering where we're headed. Are we friends? Are we more than friends? Do we have potential to be more than friends?" Ex-Gaybor: "I don't know... Crap, I'm really bad at this stuff. I guess, maybe a little bit more than friends?"Me: "Okay... Well, then maybe it's alright if I say goodbye like this?"
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The Ex: "I thought it would be difficult to see you with someone new, but really, it isn't. And if I were to imagine you with a new girlfriend this would be it!"
Me: "Really? I still don't know if we're hitting it off as more than friends, I'm not sure she's interested in me in that way."The Ex: "Are you kidding? There's a whole looking back and forth electricity thing going on between the two of you. There's definitely sparkage."
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Yes, I love her. She looks crazy intense in this specific picture though... just a little bit scary. But I love her head bald. Made me wanna shave all my hair off.
Coming in at number 30: Carly Pope
I remember really liking her in "Popular". And seeing pictures of her from "Dirt", a show I have yet to see, and thinking "she's pretty hot". But I would have never thought of her for this list, to be honest. And then there she was... and wow.
Go check out the other pretty ladies at AfterEllen.com! Lots of cast members from "The L Word", "Grey's Anatomy", "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and plenty more!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
So what is so brilliant about Buffy then? Well, I could go on and on about this, but I'll save that for some other day. But just to mention some of the things that makes the Buffyverse so fabulous: Snarky dialog, an episode for every mood/situation, and can we just mention the goodness that is Willow and Tara? Oh, it's a beautiful work of art. And it's just the right amount of fluffiness for my brain to process on a hungover Sunday.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
"Come then! My log does not judge!"
Saturday, May 26, 2007
At the conference I was attending there was a girl I recognized from a previous conference and we got to chatting. Mid-talk she asked me how old I was, quickly explaining that that's not something she normally asks. It's just that at the big conference we attended in April she was surrounded by a bunch of male colleagues in the 20-30 age bracket. These young guys had apparently referred to me as "the finest girl at the conference" (yup, that's a quote) and fought about who should "get me", as in "she's mine", "no, she's mine!". Flattering, of course, but I couldn't help but laugh and mention the irony of the whole situation. My colleague was of course laughing her ass off as I told this girl that the ironic thing is that I'm a big lesbo, so they could fight all they wanted but they had nothing to collect with me. First her jaw dropped and then she lit up in a smile and did a little victory gesture, making it known that she couldn't wait to tell her colleagues that the chick they were checking out was a dyke and that she had a bigger chance of scoring with me than they did.
There was no scoring what so ever at the conference though. Sadly.
Monday, May 21, 2007
In other, lesbian news: The Ex and I talked and walked today. The talk revolved around our issues, with sex and love and relationships, as is often the case with our talks. She tried to convince me that I will find someone very special and have an amazing relationship and that it's only a matter of time before that happens (of course! Natalie must be on her way!). I pouted and hissed in disbelief, and then it was my turn to convince the Ex that she'll definitely find someone way before I do. And then we play-fought about who's more fucked up. Oh the fun.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
See? She even likes dogs! A must in my world.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Need more proof that I live within some kind of lesbian magnetic forcefield? Remember how I went out this past weekend? For once I mingled lots and met a bunch of new people. Then on Monday I met one of the women from the club at the local grocery store, shopping with her girlfriend, and then another of the women from the club was working behind the counter at the local post office.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
- A large group of friends. It's not that we're incapable of having fun when it's just a small group of two or three, but the core group know each other so very well, we tend to end sticking to each other, whether it's on the dance floor or at the bar. When we're a large group there's more mingle possibilites, getting to know new people and such... And more drama!
- Speaking of which: Drama. There must be some form of it. Whether it's an unexpected (or expected for that matter) make-out session, a fight between girlfriends, exes, or just friends, a drunken confession of love... anything that makes for good gossip the day after.
- Someone must get very drunk. I don't know why that's a criteria, but it seems to be a common denominator for those great fun nights. Someone get's very drunk and makes a fool of themselves/create drama (see above). It's not always so much fun being that person, but hey, we've all been there.
The problem tonight is that there probably will be a large group going out, but they're not people I really want to be around... so that brings down the level of fun quite a bit. I tried to get The Ex to come along, but she had other plans and thus couldn't serve as my wing-woman tonight.
Still, I'm going to go out and I'm going to give high expectations another shot. Maybe I'll meet miss Right? Maybe I'll meet miss Right Now? Or maybe I'll just have a wonderful time making new friends and reconnecting with old ones? I'll deal with the potential disappointment tomorrow. Or the potential happiness. I'm hoping for the latter.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Women I've had sex with: 3 (yeah, I'm really no player)
Women I've had sex with where I've been their first woman: 3