I woke up next to someone I barely knew. Which isn't associated with any shame on my part, not at all. In fact, I would've shook my own hand, done the wave and shouted "YAY ME!"... if it weren't for coming to the realization that my accomplishment of picking up a girl and bringing her home with me didn't lead to ending my sexual dryspell. But let's start at the beginning. First things first: I suck at picking up girls. It's a well known fact that I simply cannot for the life of me get a girl to go home with me. My friends claim I don't even try. I claim that I have tried at times and taken blows to my self esteem in the process. Either way, yesterday a girl picked me up and I was feeling all special and stuff. Things were going so smoothly: She was showering me with compliments and I was ignoring all signs that she was crazy. And yes, there were signs to be ignored. She was literally telling me how she and her girlfriend had just separated and how she was going to therapy and was a really fucked up person... and I responded by asking her to come home with me. She accepted and I did a little dance of joy in my head. Walking home it became clear that she was more than a little drunk. I wasn't stone cold sober myself and when we got back to my place we tumbled into bed and I told her I always sleep naked and took all my clothes of. Once in bed we started making out and all was wonderful until she all of a sudden stopped and said: "I'm not going to have sex with you tonight". "Um, okay...", I tentatively responded. She then started talking about how she just got out of a relationship and how messed up she is right now and maybe we could just sleep together without, ya know, sleeping together. I told her that was absolutely okay, like the gentlewoman I am. But I was a little disappointed, to be honest. I thought I was gonna have my first sapphic one-night stand... but no.
So this morning was akward, waking up naked next to a more or less fully clothed stranger and scrambling to put on clothes so as to not parade around naked in broad daylight more than necessary. Sleep Over Girl apologized profoundly for being so drunk and out of it the night before, we had coffee in my kitchen and realized we had very little in common (at least I did) and then I called her a cab, gave her my number and we parted with a hug. I doubt she'll call me and to tell the truth I'm kind of hoping she won't. Some things are just over before they begin and I've got a feeling this is one of those things, better left alone.